Reporting Live Ep 1: “Nothing is working”

Feb 12, 2026 Week Two

We’ve been partnering with Wild Haven in Costa Rica to support their second year and to collaborate on the implementation of a New Way.

The Sacred Oak Way practiced in real life alongside the work being done here. Yet on this day, the perfectly laid out plans were disrupted by the reality of the day.

Fun games turn to arguments.
Activities turn to frustration.

I’m not doing that.

We allow their voice. Because who exactly benefits from a forced lesson. A command and energy spent doing something that means nothing to the soul.

We instead offer invitation. And we honour their response.

Today, the response was a resounding no thanks.

Energy loud.
Nervous systems chaotic.

Suddenly child-led becomes child dysregulated and unable to settle.

Shared glances between the adults, what next?

And in this moment, it becomes clear, ditch the plans.

Meet the energy exactly where it’s at.

Allow it. Be with it. Move it with them.

Aggression channeled becomes power.
Intensity directed becomes leadership.

I stepped in - let us meet them where they are at.

Let’s ditch the music club plans.
Let go of the need to gather in a circle.

I gathered with the guides, speaking to the reality and devising a plan.

In 3 minutes, a plan was in action. One guide off to create an art experience with the Wildlings, creating a nurturing sensory invitation with flowers, leaves and pieces of nature they held dear.

The other guide shouted into the air Let’s race to the field and boom they were off.

Racing to the field, not knowing why, just grateful for the relief in their systems. Yelling and shouting as they sped there as if there lives depended on it.

Responsiveness, one our core philosophies. Part of this is designing spaces and experiences in response to the children’s interests, passions, strengths. The other part of this is responding in real time to each child and to the group.

What are they showing us.
What do they need.
How can I offer guidance?

Essential for the guides to practice the dance of when to step in and offer guidance or scaffoldings.

And when to step back.

Today, it was clear. Support would be nourishing for all.

Because child led and free also means contained. Safe. Clear expectations. Clear boundaries. Shared agreements.

They could have continued on with the perfectly laid out plans. But instead, the redirection opened up the space for something different to happen.

And what happened was pure magic.

A high energy game in navigation, pulled from their Nature Ninja training, racing North, East, laughing as they outsmarted their guide.

Next up, a special mission.

Let’s go gather bamboo to build a secret base.

The invitation shared.

Pause. Let’s go!

They accept.

Their need for autonomy that had an edge of defiance soon channeled into a shared task.

They ran out the gate to a bamboo pile, a 5 minute walk down a dirt road in the jungle.

They quickly established roles within themselves. Hands once crossing boundaries now put to work lifting heavy pieces of bamboo.

Our compulsion to step in and over-suggest needing to be checked. I reminded they guide, step back when I overhead:

Here’s a good one.
Let’s grab it this way.
Why don’t you do it like this?

Well intended, yet harmful nonetheless.

They need space to try. To fail. To negotiate. To learn how it works with their own hands.

They might get dirty. Fall.

But this is how they will learn their own limits.
Deepen their confidence.
Build their emotional resilience.

Let them Move. Run. Climb. Leap. Fall.

Move their hands.
Move their bodies.

Let them Choose. Design. Create. Imagine. Invent. Fail. Make mistakes.

When they try again they learn how to persevere.
When they try a new way, they learn how to think outside the box.
And when they do get it right, they feel a sense of pride that is often robbed by us well intended helicopter types.

Guides must be skilled at this dance too.

When to offer mentorship and when to step back and allow.

Sacred Oak uses a phrase from an Anji Play principle,

Hands down, mouths closed, but hearts, eyes, and ears wide open.

A global education approach that encourages responsive adults to observe and support children's play without interference, fostering an environment where children can lead their own learning and development.

Attuned, present adult care yet trusting the child. Another one of our core values over here.

So the guide was reminded and he stepped back. He noticed that the children no longer needed his close presence. Things had settled.

They were activated into action.

A boundary was crossed when a bamboo toss landed too close.

Do we interfere? A pause.

Boundary stated. Boundary honoured.

They self managed. That used to be scaffolded. Now they are able to self advocate more. To find agreements on their own.

The guide remained in place without needing to step in. Aware yet not interfering.

Next up they organized themselves into an assembly line.

Lifting, passing, tossing.

They shouted into the air when they tossed a bamboo down the small hill.
They laughing and helped each other.
They passed things to one another using communication.

Rather than correcting them when they chose to step near an unsafe area, the guide asked a question, what do you think could be under that pile of sticks there? Drawing their attention to their surroundings and allowing them to deepen their own ability to discern. To build self awareness and self trust.

After the hard work, things dispersed and the energy was calm. Some played in the water. Another sat in the sun.

The guide stayed near, yet didn’t step in. Not a time to engage or invite. Another dance we get to play.

Just the simple act of doing nothing on the side of a road 😂.

This was regulation.

After a long break, a request was made I want to go back.

Pause again. The guide allows the children to respond.

They consider.

Ya lets go.

Roles are established and a system is made. Stacking bamboos onto one another arms. They compete for the most.

A 5 minute walk, much harder when weighed down.

They don’t complain. Determined. Focused.

Design plans begin shortly after we return. I provided them with paper. My role of facilitator and catching the waves of inspiration activated into action.

They accept and off they go!

Designs are made, shared, discussed and explored.

Two opposing ideas. A standoff begins.

I stepped in with a question, never to solve, but to allow them to find their own voice and build their own communication skills.

How can we find a design that allows for all these ideas?

One question and off they go again.

They design a procedure and tie a rope to the bamboo and begin to haul them two by two to their chosen site.

They head back to their construction area, humble beginnings and a work in progress and they don’t mind.

To them it’s the best.

They gather their supplies and return with two drills and two hammers. They begin with the gate. They whittle three sticks into spears and use them to dig into the dirt to build their gate.

“Help me write a sign that says Kitchen”, placed on a branch and an eating space is established.

“I want to write a sign for the gate” , the unbuilt den already claimed, it’s for 7 and up, the rules have been made.

“Where should I put the broom?” a cleaning area is established, complete with a broom made out of leaves.

”I need a pillow”, a bouquet of flowers is picked and placed in what quickly became a bedroom on the grass and under a tree.

An afternoon of dedication.
Building bonds.
Pride.

There was writing. Negotiating. Getting through difficult emotions. Navigating different opinions. Establishing their own procedures.

And there was a deep level of responsive care.

The kind of care that is woven into the fabric of this work.

It’s a lot easier to control. Demand. Solve.

But this is the long game.

It might not be easy everyday. It might take a lot of inner will, to be able to do the dance. All while regulating yourself amidst the sometimes chaos and attuning again and again to the needs of those in your care.

For the ones who feel it in their bones. Children deserve this kind of care.

No, we don’t need to solve their every discomfort.

Attuning to the moment, knowing the children deeply, allows for the guides to make that call.

When to scaffold. And when to allow.

That is the dance we play as guides.

Sometimes we’ll get it wrong. And sometimes we’ll nail it and leave walking on clouds.

But always, we will respond, reflect and anchor this new way into the world as intentionally as we can.

With love, compassion for each child.

Worthy of curiosity.
Worthy of understanding.
Worthy of responsive, attuned and regulated adult care.